In Reality
by Manda Louise
Summary: Because sometimes stories don't have happy endings. One sided Momiji/Tohru. Oneshot.


**First FanFic ever guys! I was bored one day and . . . out came this. Meh. I feel bad for Momiji, because he loves Tohru and all (at least that's how I interpreted it, I don't know how you feel) but his pain is just such good writing material!**

**Anyway, I won't beg you for reviews, but some constructive criticism would be nice. Flames excepted, blah blah blah.**

**Disclaimer: NO I don't own Fruits Basket, YES you are weird for thinking otherwise.**

Tohru Honda.

The girl I loved more than anything else in the world.

The one girl I could never have.

When she told me she was in love, I smiled.

When she told me she was happy, I congratulated her.

When she cried from joy, I cried too.

Just not for exactly the same reason.

I didn't like it, but it didn't matter. Kyo liked Tohru, Tohru liked Kyo. That is all there is to it. Now why couldn't I make myself believe that? I was by myself, wandering. I found I did that a lot lately. It was already dark, but that didn't matter. I could go home, but what was there? Some servants who weren't expecting me? Or, even worse, the rumors. They always quieted when I came near, but that didn't matter. I found out. Momiji Sohma didn't give up easily.

When I _had_ found out, I wasn't surprised. Mostly it was stuff I had seen for myself, living on the Inside. Akito was furious; the household hated the pairing, hated "That Honda Girl" for stealing away a member of the zodiac, one they hated anyway. That seemed momentarily forgotten.

I couldn't figure out why they had kept this from me for a while. After all, _I_ was furious as well. But then I remembered the ruse, and I didn't say anything.

A sudden voice broke into my musing. "Momiji!" A sweet, sweet voice called from a moonlight flooded porch. "Come in, come in!"

Ahh, Tohru. My breath caught as I saw her, brown hair bathed in moonlight, calling my name. For just a moment, I let my mind imagine that she was welcoming me home from a long day of work. Suddenly I was caught up in the fantasy.

_"Momiji! I'm so glad you're back! Was work good?" She would say, lovingly. "Dinne__r is on the stove, I made your favorite! Rice balls shaped like rabbits, with cake as a dessert!"_

_ My day-dream self smiled. He would jump into her embrace, playfully, and she would giggle at the long-forgotten greeting. "You remembered!"_

_ "How could I forget? It's been your favorite since I met you."_

_ My other self looked sheepish. "Oh. Right."_

I was snapped back to reality by Tohru's second call. "Momiji? Are you okay?"

I smiled a warm smile. No matter what hour, I knew I would be welcomed here. I stepped up onto the porch. "Yes, I'm fine. I'm sorry I haven't stopped by for a while." That wasn't true at all. I often found myself here, watching Tohru as she worked about the house, but I hadn't formally visited in months.

"Oh no, don't worry yourself over coming here. School and life is hard, you needed a break."

That was so like Tohru. She would be happy to see me no matter how long I was gone. I wish she wasn't like that. I wish she would kick me out and tell me to never come back again. At least then I could pretend I was angry. But there was no anger now, just sadness.

We walked through the door, greeting Shigure and Yuki on the way, then I watched her cook dinner. I smiled the way I always did, laughed the way I always did. "Dinner's ready!" Tohru called, and when I looked I saw on the table rabbit rice balls and a cake on the sideboard.

My eyebrows shot up. "You remembered?"

"How could I forget? It's been your favorite since I met you."

In my heart, I had to forcibly remind myself that it was coincidence, that we were not, and could never be, together. As I was doing this, everyone had gathered at the table. That's where it got painful. That's when I learned what my head didn't realize and my heart was screaming at me. That's when I learned why I had been staying away. For every time Kyo touched Tohru, every time I watched her blush and giggle when their hands brushed, my heart broke. The sadness, the desperation, the misery, everything I had been beating back for the past months came back to me. I was burning, convinced this was a new type of torture devised to only hurt me.

I felt kind of a selfish pleasure in the fact that I wasn't the only one burning. As I looked into Yuki's eyes, I saw a reflection of my own pain, my own miserable, lonely burning. The news that he was here, agonizing as I was, was a surprise to me. I wasn't looking, so I hadn't noticed, but here was undeniable proof that there was company to pain.

Dinner dragged on and on, and as the horrible sadness continued I vowed I would never come here again. I vowed this would be the last time I came here, the last time I saw her. I'd disappear, get away for a while. Until she and Kyo had long forgotten me. Until I had forgotten about her.

I was set on that plan, so set I had almost deluded myself into thinking it would work. As if only time would erase her from my mind. Oh please. As I walked out the door I memorized her smiling face, and decided this would be the side of her I would remember. This happy, smiling face I saw as I walked out the door. I reached the gate and then did the unforgivable. I looked back. I saw her, hand still raised, still smiling, still happy. I heard her calling, "Come back soon!" And I knew.

I knew I could never stay away forever. Akito and I might have a certain type of bond, but Tohru held something much deeper than that. Magic held me to Akito, magic normal people don't even know exist. Magic that can hurt, magic that can heal. But love held me to Tohru, something wiser and more everlasting than any magic. I could never be happy seeing her with Kyo, but I could never be truly happy staying away. Love is like that. Magic is not.

Something you should always remember:

Happy endings only happen in fairy tales.


End file.
